In general I do not arrive any where late.
I know this is a bold statement, but I really don't. I can't stand being late. It gives me a type of anxiety I can't even describe. Ask Justin. I have no idea why - but it always has. I don't like waiting for people and I don't like people having to wait for me. I guess I'm impatient.
However when you live in the city and you don't have a car you are unfortunately at the mercy of public transportation which does NOT care if it gets you anywhere on time (and as you all know, my current employment does not allow for cabs). While normally I pad my travel time so as to make up for this blatant disregard for schedules on public transit's part, sometimes you just can't make it work.
Which is when I developed a lovely little mental strategy that has reduced my stress level immensely. It is as follows:
Don't stress about being late until you are actually late.
Simply enough, right? Because I found that when I'm running late the anxiety starts to build from there. I play all these mental math games like - "I'm supposed to be there in 20 minutes, but the bus normally takes 15 minutes and who knows how long I'll have to wait for it to come...dammit why isn't the #74 on bustracker. Hmm, I could jog up to the Blue Line which would save me 7 minutes, but hard to say how the #70 will pan out. Such a spotty bus..." You get the idea. Half the time I end up getting to my destination on time (I tend to run to places to make up time. Literally, run.) and I had all this unnecessary stress for the last half hour.
So now I tell myself I'm not allowed to be stressed out until it is actually past the time I'm supposed to be somewhere. Supposed to be there by 7p and it's only 6:50p? No stress. 7:01? Now I am allowed to stress. Because no one knows you're late at 6:50...in fact, you aren't LATE yet.
Semantics I suppose - but this little trick has saved me an enormous amount stress lately.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Day 335 - MLT Begins Soon!
Any day this week I should be finding out who my Chicago cohort is for MLT. I'm really excited to meet this motivated group of people who are also getting ready to apply to school. From what I have heard about the program individuals come out of MLT with life-long friends. As someone who thoroughly enjoys meeting new people, this excites me.
However, I'm also sort of nervous for superficial (but maybe real?) reasons. For those who haven't checked out the MLT program from my past posts, MLT is dedicated to helping under-represented minorities achieve a greater presence in business. Therefore most of the fellows are either black or hispanic. While I'm pretty comfortable with the hispanic contingent, I'm a little nervous about the black contingent. Not because black people scare me or anything (ha, come on). But more because I'm afraid I won't fit in.
Let me explain.
Although I am half black I have never really been involved with any "black-specific" organizations. From what I know about black culture, it has a very tight knit, family-like quality to it. And most individuals (this is a gross generalization) with any black heritage end up defaulting to identifying as "black." I mean take a look at Obama. He's only half black but he is very clearly identified as the first black President. His wife is black. His children are black. The entire black southside of Chicago claims him as "his."
And I guess that's just it. I'm afraid I won't be "claimed." I'm afraid it will be painfully obvious that I grew up in a very white suburb of Detroit. That it will show that I never made any attempts to join the black groups at Michigan. That I have more Indian, Hispanic and Asian friends than I do Black.
And the thing is it just sort of happened that way. I didn't grow up with my dad so I didn't have the exposure to black culture that I should have. And of course there was the careless comment my senior year of high school that cemented my aversion to "minority" designated groups:
High School Boy: "I heard you got a big scholarship to go to U-M."
Me: "Yea I did. It's nice."
High School Boy: "You only got that because you're black."
Although I knew that I deserved the scholarship - my grades were good, I was very involved in extra-curriculars, etc. - I couldn't shake the thought that people would only think I was "getting ahead" because of my race (whatever that may be). So that was it for me. I refused to join M Go Black. I wouldn't join the Black Business Students Association. Nothing. Never again would I give someone the chance to undermine my accomplishments.
And sadly I ended up missing out on an entire network of potentially wonderful friends because I was going to school at Michigan during the post-affirmative action era and didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about my achievements.
So - long story short. I'm looking forward to MLT. This is sort of a second chance to reconnect with a group of people I should have always been connected with. Apprehension aside, I think this is a unique opportunity and I plan on fully embracing it.
However, I'm also sort of nervous for superficial (but maybe real?) reasons. For those who haven't checked out the MLT program from my past posts, MLT is dedicated to helping under-represented minorities achieve a greater presence in business. Therefore most of the fellows are either black or hispanic. While I'm pretty comfortable with the hispanic contingent, I'm a little nervous about the black contingent. Not because black people scare me or anything (ha, come on). But more because I'm afraid I won't fit in.
Let me explain.
Although I am half black I have never really been involved with any "black-specific" organizations. From what I know about black culture, it has a very tight knit, family-like quality to it. And most individuals (this is a gross generalization) with any black heritage end up defaulting to identifying as "black." I mean take a look at Obama. He's only half black but he is very clearly identified as the first black President. His wife is black. His children are black. The entire black southside of Chicago claims him as "his."
And I guess that's just it. I'm afraid I won't be "claimed." I'm afraid it will be painfully obvious that I grew up in a very white suburb of Detroit. That it will show that I never made any attempts to join the black groups at Michigan. That I have more Indian, Hispanic and Asian friends than I do Black.
And the thing is it just sort of happened that way. I didn't grow up with my dad so I didn't have the exposure to black culture that I should have. And of course there was the careless comment my senior year of high school that cemented my aversion to "minority" designated groups:
High School Boy: "I heard you got a big scholarship to go to U-M."
Me: "Yea I did. It's nice."
High School Boy: "You only got that because you're black."
Although I knew that I deserved the scholarship - my grades were good, I was very involved in extra-curriculars, etc. - I couldn't shake the thought that people would only think I was "getting ahead" because of my race (whatever that may be). So that was it for me. I refused to join M Go Black. I wouldn't join the Black Business Students Association. Nothing. Never again would I give someone the chance to undermine my accomplishments.
And sadly I ended up missing out on an entire network of potentially wonderful friends because I was going to school at Michigan during the post-affirmative action era and didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about my achievements.
So - long story short. I'm looking forward to MLT. This is sort of a second chance to reconnect with a group of people I should have always been connected with. Apprehension aside, I think this is a unique opportunity and I plan on fully embracing it.
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