I woke up this morning, made coffee and oatmeal, and got ready for work. I packed my lunch, I fed my cat and I caught the bus to the train. I read my book while on the train and got my ticket out before the conductor asked. I went to work and conversed with colleagues and carried out the responsibilities entitled in my job. I ate lunch with co-workers and laughed at the daily activities of corporate life. After work I got back on the train and had my ticket ready again. I walked from the train station making a mental list of errands I needed to complete this weekend. When I got back to my apartment I grabbed my mail and greeted Ivy. I called my mother and my brother called me. I made dinner for myself and read my book. My friend Lindsey came over and met my cat. My boyfriend texted to let me know he got to NYC safely. I cleaned up my dishes, brushed my teeth, took out my contacts, pet my cat and got into bed.
And it wasn't until I got in bed that it struck me - I have my own life. I don't know why today this felt particularly pointed. I think in your early 20s there is this tendency to forget that you aren't just "away" and that you'll be home again soon. That's the mindset of college. You are totally on your own...but not REALLY. During college you are in a temporary place and time and soon you'll be home again. But now I am home. This is where I live. I have lived here for 2 years. I have my own job and I'm getting a new job. I have my own apartment. I pay all my bills. I have a CAT. I have friends that I made not just because I go to school with them but because I made friends. And I keep them. And I like them and they like me.
And all of this is silly and rambling but I guess sometimes I just forget that I am my own autonomous self. I don't even live in the state that I grew up. I am 24 and I live in Chicago and I am living the life that I have created for myself.
And frankly, it's nice.
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